01. January 2005

When you trust in yourself, you trust in the same wisdom that's created you
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It was a new year. It was now 2005. I remember walking sometime in January hoping some kind stranger will give me a lift to town which is only a few minutes away in a car but about 45 minutes on foot. No one gave me a lift. But that's OK. As my hands and feet got really cold I was contemplating on the need to FOCUS on my immediate goals which were. 1) Get my driver's license 2) Earn enough money to buy my own car so I can empower myself to go places 3) I must have health Insurance just in case my health goes down. 4) Get my laptop access to the internet so I can start downloading my pictures from my camera and e-mail the people I love. I needed to have mental stimulation and reading from the Internet will be good for me.





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walking alone like this - make me think about the deeper meaning of life. All around me I have the choice to see either beauty or ugliness. Hope or despair. I can either grow from this experiences I go through, or I can just linger in a less meaningful state of existence.

When you consciously Invoke growing, you consciously invoke the parts of yourself that are not whole to come to the foreground of your life. With each recurrence of anger, jealousy or fear, one is given the CHOICE to challenge it, or to give in to it. Each time you challenge it, it loses power and you gain power.*







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From the left Myself, Joann, Rossini & Marcel - I am now starting to make new friends in the local area. This was taken in a Chinese restaurant called Marco Polo in Cranbrook - half and hour's drive from Kimberley. Friendship and Human connection one of the basic things that make life meaningful.






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Winter makes me want to sleep. When I am sad I naturally want to sleep. All my life, I have been like this. I think sleeping the way I do when sadness strikes has saved me from making irrational and reckless decisions. It allows my mind to just rest. When I awake, I am once again ready to face the mundane things we concern ourselves with in the practical details of everyday life. When I took this picture, I remember the thought "It sure is lonely. I just wish I had someone to hug or someone hugging me. I'm 29. I am single and unattached. I pray that maybe God can send me someone to love"
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* Gary Zukav, Thoughts From The Seat of The Soul (Fireside: Simon & Schuster, 1989), 97.

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